Finally landing a date with someone we’ve had our eyes on for a while is a great feeling. And of course, we want it to go well because, well, first impressions last and what we really want is date number two. That’s probably not going to happen if we are too nervous, fumble over our words, and don’t have anything to talk about. Here are some great ideas to still be yourself, but sound smart on a date.
Posture and body language
Humans communicate immensely through body language – more than we realize. Slouching while we sit or stand gives off body language that says “lacking in confidence.” A back that is too stiff and upright says “I’m uncomfortable here.” What we want is the sweet spot in the middle. Sitting and standing with a relaxed yet straight spine says “I’m eloquent, refined, and totally comfortable with you.” Relaxed shoulders and keeping our chins at an even level portrays confidence.
Again, we are looking for the middle ground. Too little and it seems like we’re not interested. Too much and it’s downright creepy. The goldilocks zone in the middle is where we want to be. Looking at someone’s face while they are speaking shows that the listener is genuinely interested in what they have to say and that their attention span is decent enough to hold a good conversation.
Combining speech with body language is essential to sounding intelligent. We can use our hands to help explain something and lean forward slightly to emphasize a point. Speech should be at a natural and even speed. Spoken clearly and just loud enough for them to hear us over the buzz of the room. Avoid profanity and using too much slang. Be respectful and allow the date a chance to speak as well. Silence and active listening are indeed traits of intelligent people.
What to talk about
The conversation is what the whole date is about. It’s pointless going on a second date when the conversation already ran dry on the first one. Having some background information on our intended partner is handy. We can do some research on their interests and brush up on our knowledge. If not, it’s important to know what’s happening in the world around us and what’s trending. We don’t want them thinking that we live under a rock. Current affairs are the best way to keep the conversation alive. Reading is a great way to expand our knowledge base, learn new words, and have interesting things to say when out on a date. Nothing says I’m smart more than the phrase “I read something interesting the other day” and then proceed to explain what it is.
Ultimately, it needs to be and feel natural. Don’t overdo any of these pointers and remember to be yourself. After all, that’s whom they have come to see. Putting up a facade is hard work and won’t last very long. Having our partner think we are someone we are not will lead to disappointment and possibly even resentment. Nowadays, most people can spot a faker from a mile away. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a better version of yourself, but always stay true to you. Above everything else, be confident.