Finding the right person to be with is easier said than done. One day you think you’re in the greatest relationship and he is it for your, and the next you are single, living alone and have 500 photos of your dog on your phone – not that that’s a bad thing! Alas, I want to find someone to share my life with, the good the bad and the ugly, with a little dose of crazy. Over the years, the relationships and the single life, I have learned a lot – about myself and about signs. What I mean by signs is not just the signs from a guy who’s not good for me, playing games and all that jazz, but signs that I’ve found myself in an honest to goodness mature relationship. Here they are:
You’re totally cool with not seeing him every second of every day
Unlike that one relationship you had in high school where it was a whirlwind style, can’t eat, can’t sleep, or breathe situation, this relationship is more balanced in terms of emotions and need for attention. While you do speak, you don’t feel the need to constantly be together – that’s a good thing! Individuality, yo!
Your friendships remain as tight as they were before he came along
This is one of the most important things ever – you don’t drop your friends as soon as you start the relationship. The most important thing is to remain who you are and what your life had within, even after your relationship goes into full swing. Maintaining your friendships is as important as maintaining your relationship.
Texting back and forth all day isn’t a thing
This is a matter of insecurity. When you’re in a mature relationship, you don’t feel the need to constantly be in touch with your S.O. throughout the day to keep tabs, you each do your thing and speak when you have the time to do so later on, or early on, in the day.
You don’t feel like time is running out
You don’t feel like you have to rush. There is no rush! You take your time to enjoy your time together and take each day as it comes. Don’t listen to any outside pressure on your relationship!
You accept him as he is
When you’re in an adult relationship, you don’t try and change the person you are with – it won’t work anyway. The key here is that you won’t WANT to change anything about him. While there are probably little things that could annoy you sometimes, these aren’t important enough to make a dent in your feeling towards him.
You accept YOU as you are and he does too
What goes around comes around! He shouldn’t want to change a thing about you either, and just like you wouldn’t nitpick about irritating things, he shouldn’t either. Honestly, when you’re in a committed adult relationship, these thoughts won’t come up high enough in your mind for you to care.
You fearlessly speak of the future
Marriage, kids, and everything in between is going to be talked about and seriously. You know you’re in an adult relationship when you aren’t afraid of broaching important topics such as a family and commitment – unbelievably important stuff!
Your thought process becomes slightly more ‘we’ than ‘me’
While not everything you do and think is in ‘we’ format, when you’re in that relationship that’s real and mature, you start thinking about your partner as an extension of you in a way, so when you think if you would like to go see a certain film, perhaps they would like it too, and if you think they won’t then you alter activities. Don’t forget who YOU are, but being considerate of the other person is vital.
You trust one another completely
TRUST – without it, forget it. Every solid relationship is built on trust. Jealousy has no room in a loving and respectful relationship.